Category Archives: General/Thoughts

The Sometimes Thorny, Sometimes Rosy Journey to Our International Marriage

The Sometimes Thorny, Sometimes Rosy Journey to Our International Marriage

She’s Thai, and I’m Malaysian. In less than two months’ time, it will be our 3rd anniversary of being together. Mostly importantly, we will be tying the knot.

Read: I Don’t Know What Future Holds for Us, but I Try to Live in the Moment, Every Moment

This is something I feel we’ve been prepping forever. From buying the ring to getting engaged, to selecting the wedding dates and to making our pre-wedding photoshoot happen, so much effort has gone into every little aspect and detail of our wedding leading up to its actual days. In fact, everything is happening so fast it feels so surreal.

She's Thai, I'm Malaysian: The Sometimes Thorny, Sometimes Rosy Journey to Our Wedding

The whole process involves a lot more steps and procedures given this is an international marriage. Not that we’re perfectionists in any way. We are not, and we know that unless you’re rich enough to make money work for you, there is no such thing as being perfect when it comes to a wedding that involves two cultures and nationalities.

This whole international relationship thing that often looks sweet on the surface and is constantly glamorised, is more than what it seems.

For me, the whole process hasn’t always been rosy and straightforward. There is so much that I’ve encountered and learned in the process, something which I believe will continue on even after our marriage.

Among the less pleasant encounters in my journey to getting married, for one, it is inevitable to have some conservative relatives or friends who would be shocked to find out that my fiancé and I are going to have our wedding ceremonies done on two separate dates, the first and the grandest of which is going to be done in Thailand against the norm of the patriarchal Malaysian Chinese society.

“But I thought being a Chinese and a guy, you should be doing it here [in Kuching] first,” one individual said to me, referring to my hometown in Sarawak.

Continue reading The Sometimes Thorny, Sometimes Rosy Journey to Our International Marriage

Post-Thailand 2017: A Year of Uncertainty and a Bazillion New Tasks

Just five more days and 2018 is here. Time is passing so quickly these days it actually makes me scared.

Scared because as I grow older, I realise how true it is when people say life is short. As much as I have allowed myself to be occupied to the max this year, I feel there are more things I have yet to achieve, though they are not necessarily work related.

As we age, we’re more prone to diseases due to stress, bad lifestyle, yada yada. We just never know. One day we may still be kicking and alive; the next day we may be six feet under. With our aging parents thrown into the equation, sometimes we just couldn’t help but to feel this way.

For me, the scariest thing isn’t dying. It is dying knowing we haven’t done much. It is dying not having lived a happy life.

Anyway, it’s always been a year since I have resettled back from Thailand. So how has the post-Thailand 2017 treated me?

Many friends would message me and ask, “Hey, are you in Malaysia or Thailand?” Perhaps such an uncertain feeling of “neither here nor there” is apt to sum up my 2017.

My 2017 has been one hell of a crazy year without much rest and stopping. It’s been one place after another; task after task. I remember having to immediately relocate back to teach part-time in my current institution right after finishing my contract with Sahakornprachanukool School in Thailand. After a semester’s stint as a part-timer, I was immediately made a full-timer and a Head of Programme.

To be honest, I was given no time to even worry about not being ready for the job. I had hoped for more time to “rest” and prepare myself before taking up the full-time duty.

As much as I believe there are better candidates who could do the job well, I guess God has a plan for everyone, and you just got to go with the flow.

Now that 2017 is coming to an end, and as I reflect upon the things I have done this year, I can’t help but feel goosebumps over the energy that I have been blessed with to do what needed to get done.

I remember back in January when I knew I was about to relocate back to Penang, I told myself that I could not afford to get sick because there was so much I had to do and prepare.

I haven’t fallen sick once.

Whatever I have achieved thus far may not have been perfect, but I feel I have done my very best. Now that I can finally have my much-needed break, I’m trying to relax and enjoy myself as much as I can in a season of low temperatures and chilly winds.

As I’m typing this entry at the comfort of my fiancé’s home in Thailand, I’m thankful for all the things I have been given so far, for all the people who have provided their generous help and guidance to me. I also look forward to find back the feeling of certainty which I have lost the entire year.

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.